No big deal

So, I was chatting with the male sibling of a friend the other night. A male friend of his had joined the party we were at, and my friend's brother told me that when he first met his male friend they had been involved in a threesome with a female.

I didn't even blink.

I assumed my friend's brother was totally hetero. He seemed to be that way, was interested in a female at the party. 'Acted straight'. But he wasn't totally straight.

And

so

what.

It should just be common place, common knowledge, that any person may have any sexual orientation, and you may just not know when you look at or meet that that person. You may have no idea at all. Or your gaydar could be sending off flares. Whatever.

Don't blink. Just accept. in the moment. This is how we undo homophobia.

and the fact that I 'assumed' him to be hetero is an indication of how the heterocentrism of society is socialized into us, into me... even a hardcore radical feminist dyke like myself assumed him to be hetero. telling. it takes work to undo that shit. so perhaps 'assuming nothing' is the goal.

some people are homosexual, some people are heterosexual, some people are on a gradient in between.

It's no big deal.